How to Cope with Your Fear of Childbirth

Reduce and overcome your anxiety & fear of childbirth

Your body is growing at a rapid rate.

You barely recognize your body anymore.

I mean really, who took your nipples and replaced them with pepperonis? But you can live with it, they are now future food supply for your baby.

Luckily, every appointment you have been to has been positive. That is a relief. Your baby is growing, and all is well. No news is good news.

The not so good part is your due date keeps nearing, and you are silently freaking out.

Is it even okay to be worried about labor and delivery? Is it normal that I have this fear of giving birth?

How can I cope with the fear of childbirth?

I am here to tell you, hell yeah, it is normal to be fearful of childbirth. People can say it is natural all they want – but that does not make it any less painful!

So yeah, it is okay to be nervous, have anxiety, or stay up at night thinking about how it is going to feel and if you are going to get through it okay. It is your body that is going through this, while others have been through it, this is your journey, and it will be unlike anyone else’s.

Okay, so I think we are on the same page, giving birth is scary and you have a right to feel this way. I think they call that acceptance. So now let’s discuss some things you can do to feel a little better about your approaching due date.

These nine tips personally helped me get through it and let me tell you I was terrified. My fear may have even been a part of why I never wanted to have kids. So if you are pregnant or going to be soon let’s get to it, and I hope this helps you out! How to cope with the fear of childbirth with nine easy tips.

#1 Let those tears run

Have you ever just had an amazing cry that let out so much emotion the world seemed a little brighter, and your fears seemed to disappear?

Well, that happened to me while I was about 4 months pregnant.

I was having anxiety of the worst kind. I was worried about:

• The pain
• If my baby would be okay
• My body being numb from an epidural
• Being induced
• What would happen to my body

I was also worried about a million other things. So when I went to the doctor without my husband, I decided to talk to him about it. As I was explaining to him all my worries I totally broke down and started crying. It was not a pretty cry either, it was one of those uncontrollable sobbing situations – snot and all.

My doctor reassured me that everything would be okay and explained how everything would work out (using doctor words). He had been delivering babies for at least a quarter of a century and explained that we are on the right path.

He also asked me specifically what my worries were. He went one by one about each topic and explained to me why I was going to be okay.

After the whole thing happened, I felt so much better, the release of my tears and getting reassurance from my doctor helped me tremendously.

The lesson?

• Crying can be amazing and therapeutic! It can release your emotions, so if you feel those tears coming on let them out
• Talk to your medical professional about your fears and anxiety, they can help out immensely, they have been through this a time or two and can reassure you that everything is going to be okay

Going through a similar situation should reduce your fears and anxiety in a snap. But if this does not do the trick, there are more things you can do.

#2 The Power of Knowledge

When researching pregnancy and all the things I was going through there were times when I was not sure if I should learn all about it or just be ignorant.

You know the whole ignorance is bliss?

But after attempting not to do research, I realized I was doing a disservice to myself. Not knowing did not help. After that, I did everything I could to learn everything about labor and the birthing process.

Having expectations and trying to get things to come out the way you want is not a bad thing at all. You can’t control everything – but you can control some things.

Knowing what to expect can help ease your mind than constantly worrying about the unknown.

The biggest danger is allowing the unknown to take over your imagination. If you allow that to happen your mind can go wild and go through several scenarios that are not realistic. You can blow things out of proportion. Make it even worse for yourself.

Having some knowledge on your side can do the following:

• Provide you with expectations
• Ease your mind
• Prepare you for different scenarios
• Make things realistic
• Allow you to take on your fear head on

Also, beware of the sources you depend on in your research. Look up the topics that are important to you. It is okay not to research absolutely everything.

#3 Run back to school

When I became overwhelmed with the amount of data and information online, I sought out birthing and parenting classes. I figured they would go over the most important topics and I can supplement what I learned with my own research.

It proved to be time well spent. I took a few different classes with different hospitals in my city. The classes provided great information, they answered my questions, and I was able to check out the hospitals and maternity wards.

It was overall a good experience.

The best part was my husband, and I did it together and bonded during these classes. There is nothing better than being in class with your best friend. We were like a couple in high school. My husband insisted on copying my answers (even though it was just an opinion survey at the end of the class). It was pretty hilarious and fun.

#4 Word vomit time

Do you remember in Mean Girls when they talk about word vomit? Word vomit is when you just let everything you are feeling out.

That is precisely what you need to do with the anxiety you have pent up within you. Talk about it.

Who you talk to is just as important as what you actually say. You want to discuss your fears with someone empathetic and understanding. Someone who will make you feel better about what you are going through.

If you have someone in your life who tends to be negative and not supportive, then that may not be the appropriate person to word vomit all over.

Find the right person even if it means going to a professional.

#5 But avoid that kind of talk

Be wary of “7-up” conversations. These are conversations when someone always has to “one-up you.” Whatever you say they have to talk about what they went through and how it was worse than your experience.

For instance, if you had morning sickness, this person will talk about how they had morning, noon and night sickness, how they had to get hospitalized for it, how their doctor said it was the worst case they have ever seen, etc.

These conversations are not really valuable and can just wear you down rather than make you feel better.

This also happens a lot when talking to other moms. For some reason, moms like to talk about the absolute worst parts of their birthing experience. It is okay to listen to other moms’ experiences, but if it just gets to be too much or if it flares up your anxiety, it is okay to excuse yourself from the conversation.

Remember, you control what you want to talk about particularly when you are pregnant and emotional.

#6 List what is bothering you

If talking about your fears is not doing much for you, then write everything down.

Grab paper and something to write with. Write down all your fears and anxieties. This can be another way of releasing your thoughts from within you. Then you can just purge those thoughts from your brain get rid of them. It is easy, acknowledge them and move on.

You can also research each topic to calm your anxieties. Then prepare for them.

If you want to take it a step further, you can even throw away the paper to symbolically release yourself from those negative thoughts.

Writing in a journal is also a great way to release your thoughts – positive and negative. Plus they are fun to read later on. Write about anything and everything, it really does help.

#7 Visualize your amazing future

Despite your fears, think about the end result – you are going to have a mini-me of you or your significant other. That is amazing!

You created life, and that is awesome.

Get excited. Celebrate. Do all that mom stuff where you decorate and prep for the baby!

When you dwell on the negative, it attracts negative. Which is why most of my tips involve releasing your negative thoughts. Once those negative thoughts are gone its time to invite positive ones in.

This is when you visualize all the amazing things to come.

Here are some things that you can visualize:

• The moment after you deliver your baby, you are both healthy, and you are overwhelmed with accomplishment and happiness
• The moment you take your baby home, and he or she is safe
• Playing peekaboo with your child at nine months
• Your child successfully turning one, you made it through an entire year

Quite often pregnant women get stuck on birth and having a newborn, but never think about beyond that point. Do not let the labor and delivery barriers stop you from visualizing and thinking beyond that point.

You are going to get beyond that point – just visualize it and let the peace overflow within your body.

#8 Do the cheapest form of self-therapy

Along with visualizing positivity outcomes, use the power of breathing to help you.

I mention breathing a lot in my blog because it is a powerful, straightforward tool you can use at any time and anywhere. Plus, it does not cost you anything – just a bit of time and patience.

A deep breath can release stress or even help you get through the pain. It can instantly calm you, change your mood and take you to another state of mind.

It is powerful.

So take advantage of it while you are pregnant it will help you in so many ways. Here is a quick, easy breathing technique for you to help release stress:

• Block off about 5-10 minutes with no distractions
• Make sure your environment is distraction free, turn off lights and turn off your electronics
• Get comfortable, lay down if you want
• Close your eyes
• Take a deep breath in for 5 seconds
• Hold it in for 2 seconds
• Then release it saying an affirmation, like “I am tranquil and at peace”
• Repeat for a few minutes and try to relax afterward

You can do this daily or as often as you want. This will help you cope with the thoughts in your mind and help you take on the day with positivity.

Also, if you feel that anxiety coming on just breath in and out no matter where you are located.

#9 Prepare for outcomes

After trying all of the techniques above, if you still feel like you must do something then prepare.

Whatever is causing your anxiety or birthing fears, face it head-on by addressing the situation and tailoring a plan on how to approach it.

For instance, if you are nervous that you are going to go into labor suddenly and may not make it to the hospital – then pack your bags, plan out the route to the hospital, make a plan if you go into labor at work, at home or while you are out.

Or let’s say you are worried about the pain of childbirth. Learn childbirth pain techniques. Work on your birth plan and how you want to handle the pain. Look at the various ways to deal with pain and talk to your doctor about it as well. You can always find out what your hospital or birthing center does for pain management.

You can make your plans as detailed as you want whatever makes you feel better.

Final thoughts

The clock is ticking, and your due date will arrive before you know it. Time does not stop; so make use of the time you have to do what you need to prepare for the delivery of your baby.

The fear of labor and childbirth is absolutely real, and you have every right to feel this way. If you learn nothing else from this post at least take that with you.

In fact, I would be worried if you did not have any fear or at least a tiny bit of nervousness. It is what gets your adrenaline pumping and your body ready to give birth.

Remember you are not alone, many women before you have been through it and many will come after you. Life keeps getting created, and women keep having babies, with many having more than one. So just know that it is possible and you will get through it.

Build a support system around you, prepare, and most of all breathe and relax. Before you know it, you will not just be coping with the fear of childbirth – but you will be conquering it!